Saturday December 1

I cannot believe this is the first day of December. 
I cannot believe it has only been 16 days since I received my news. 
I cannot believe I am 35.
I cannot believe I am 2.5 years away from 20 year reunion. 
I cannot believe I have only 24 days to get this Christmas thing together.
I cannot believe I only have 11 more days with my body as I know it.


We met with the plastic surgeon last Wednesday. He was very nice, and his business is booming. Not an empty seat in the waiting room. I looked around at the other patients and tried to guess which procedure they were interested in. Tummy tuck over there....Ooh brow lift, please...Augmentation, Lipo, Rhinoplasty?? It took my mind off the fact that I was there to discuss the best way to remove my breasts. 

I haven't always been a fan of my breasts. I hated them in 6th grade, when I was the first in my age group to wear the dreaded under wire (pre-victoria's secret). I was a little frightened when I woke up 3 days after Owen was born to find they had tripled in size. But other than that, they have been good for me. They discreetly hide the belly underneath, they fed two babies, they keep me from having a pear shape. They look good in sweaters, especially. So right now, I am mourning. 

After much prayerful consideration, 514 questions to the surgeon, google images, and Christian's blessing, I have decided on the double mastectomy. I am not a carrier of the BRAC gene, but I know that the right side would be a source of continuous anxiety if it were to hang around...not hang...enthusiastically perch. 

My surgery will be December 12, 2012..12-12-12. The plastic surgeon will begin reconstruction at that time using tissue expanders that will be inflated over time to make room for implants. My hospital stay will be 2-4 days. I will return home for the remainder of the recovery. 

Owen is convinced that if my breasts are removed that I will then become a man. Ellyott is quick to point out that I clearly cannot be a man, because I have long hair. Funny, brave kids. Although I come locked and loaded with many Dolly Parton jokes, this is super scary. Please keep praying for all of us. 

Insert plug here

The weekend of my biopsy, mom and I went to a craft show downtown. A man selling iron art sculptures had pink ribbons made of horseshoes. I pointed to it and told mom I needed one. He heard me and told me the story of his wife who was 5 years Cancer free. He then gave me the pink ribbon. We were so touched by this man's kind words during our storm, that we walked around the corner and cried amongst the hairbows and Christmas ornaments.  When I learned My results were positive, I emailed the man to thank him for his encouraging testimony. His wife emailed me this week. I am so humbled and touched by the women that I have come in contact with that have a story to share. 
Anyway visit www.masonsforge.com