The BIG Things

Over the past four months, I have spent a great deal of time writing about, celebrating and clinging to the small joys. It has been the simple things, the small things that have meant the most throughout this cancer trip. And I totally believe that it is the simple, everyday, ordinary moments that one strings together that will mean the most in the end. Yesterday, I started thinking about the BIG things. 

I promise that this is not a gloom and doom post. However, one cannot face cancer without thinking about the big things. 

Christian's Grandmother passed away right after Christmas. She was the purest, kindest soul I have ever met. This past weekend, our family gathered from all ends of the country to celebrate her life with a small memorial. The weather was perfect, and my dad got to do the service. As I sat there thinking about her and listening to the stories and memories, I was overcome with gratitude that I had had a chance to know her and be a part of her family. She was a quiet, strong woman. She loved her family, and she lived a full life caring for others and loving God.

 I sat there wondering how I would be remembered if my family had gathered to reflect on my life. I know they would not say I was quiet, but strong, I think they would say that. I think they would say I could make people laugh. I have always loved making people laugh. I hope they would say that I was loyal and determined and that I loved hard. It really made me think about how I have lived my life up to this point. I know I have played hard, made mistakes, held grudges and burned bridges. I have lied and gossiped and been self-centered. Yuck. But  I hope that when I am a grandma and I leave this place, my children rise up and call me blessed (Proverbs 31). I hope that I make my children feel good about themselves. I hope they never question whether I am proud of them. I hope Christian knows that he rocks my world. I hope my children and friends will think about me when they hear Janis Joplin or a broadway number or smell patchouli..

The BIG thing is that I don't have to hope for all of these things to happen. I can start right now and make it my mission to love and laugh with my babies and spoil them rotten. I can celebrate report cards and strike outs and recitals and coloring in the lines. I can tell my husband that he is number 1, better yet, I can show him. I can teach my children about love and life and mistakes and grace and I can do it right now. I can prioritize and capitalize on this moment.

Chemotherapy #3 is now in the past. My side effects seem less severe with the new meds that have been added. And the family time, and belly laughs were just what the doctor ordered. The SHERBERT PUNCH CANCER WALK is coming up on April 20. I have ordered the first round of t-shirts, so if you still would like to participate, please visit SHERBERT PUNCH CANCER FIGHT FB page for details. 

As you wrap up this work week, and enjoy the weekend, enjoy the small things while remembering the BIG things.

Life is short. Family is important. Now is the time.