Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Phoebe Buffet



Well, we are halfway through the month of April. Master's patrons have hopped their little planes back to where ever they come from. Pollen has settled into the hearts and noses of everyone. Kids have gone back to school..can I get an AMEN! The days seem to move quickly, especially the days when I feel good. Those days fly! I am happy that time is not standing still, because that means that this leg of my journey will soon be over. The last several weeks have been a struggle for me, and I am ready to move on. I am over this. 

I have been a bit overwhelmed at the attention I have received the past few weeks. I had a chance to speak at a University Foundation Fundraiser, I did an interview with Kimberly Scott on channel 2, which showcased my brilliant guitar skills, and now the commercial video for University Hospital foundation has been released. Everywhere I look, I see my own mug. Couldn't I have gotten some recognition while enjoying a good hair day?? Anyway, I don't mind being on stage, so if this gives me a chance to highlight this scary disease and put a steroid rounded face to it, then so be it. 

I have now completed 4 rounds of chemo. But this round has pulled its fair share of punches. Each time I go to the clinic for a treatment, we start off with blood work. The tech draws my blood, someone processes the blood and reports the results to Dr. Keaton, and he consults with me. This whole process takes about 15 minutes and demands a $40 copay and then I am off to the treatment room, where I begin my infusion. On this particular day, my platelet counts were too low for me to receive my chemo.. Some might have celebrated the fact that they would get an extra "feel good" week, but not me. I have painstakingly planned my entire life around these treatments, so for there to be unforeseen changes in this schedule almost shut me down. I do not like surprises, I like structure, I like a routine. I do not like change. And for those out there that know me well, know that I love my day planner, and to have to deface this possession with Liquid Paper, was almost too much for me to bear. It's not that any of my "scheduled appointments" are so important that they could not be changed, it's that I had no control over the decision. No one asked me. Doesn't this doctor know me? Doesn't he know that I have business to tend to? Events to host? Visitors to entertain? TV to watch? Kids to wrangle? I will admit..I am a control freak. I always have been. I try to turn over my will and give it all over to God and somehow, I always take it back. This is just one more time where I had to learn that there are things that are out of my control, and I have to let it go. LET IT GO.

So, I am 5 days out from receiving round 4. The side effects are starting to ease. The bone pain comes and goes and my attention span has improved to the point that I have been able to sit here and write a bit. 
The t-shirts came in Friday, so I have been working on bagging them up, and getting everything ready for the walk on Saturday, and I have been doing so with 3 brain cells. I know I have mentioned chemo brain before..It is like being in a constant cloud...ADD...hangover..Phoebe Buffet state for days. There is not anything you can do about it except laugh and wander around the house looking for stuff. My family thinks this is funny. Throw a pain pill into the mix, and you have one hot bald mess. So this is your disclaimer..who knows what you might find in your race bag.

The Walk is Saturday..I cannot wait to see everyone that is coming out to be with me. I know we will have a good time. It will be a time to learn and spread awareness..

Please continue to pray for me and my family. Pray for me to LET IT GO. Pray for Lauren and Dusty, friends that are courageously fighting cancer battles. We will see you all Saturday!!!


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